How to Understand and Shift Your Mindset with Money

This piece originally appeared in the HerBluprynt Substack.

What emotions come to mind when you think about money? Anxiety? Guilt? Confidence? Security?

Most of us feel something, whether it's pride in a well-padded savings account or a pit in our stomach when checking a credit card balance.

Money isn't just math—it’s emotions, memories, and a core part of our identity. How we think and feel about money is deeply rooted in our personal history, especially the messages we received (both spoken and unspoken) during childhood. Whether your early experiences with money were filled with abundance or anxiety, those memories often follow you into adulthood, shaping how you spend, save, and plan for the future.

Let me tell you a bit of my money story

My parents owned a wholesale gift business that thrived in the 1970s and '80s. But by the time I started middle school in the mid-1990s, the industry had collapsed. They sold off their remaining inventory and the warehouse.

My mom had transitioned into a stay-at-home role in the later years of the business and didn’t go back to work. My dad struggled to build a new career. For years, he dabbled in radio, earning very little, often paid in restaurant gift certificates or other bartered perks in exchange for advertising deals (don’t worry, they paid taxes on the barter!). I remember him spending a lot of time at home, watching TV, talking on the phone with his friend Kenny (also figuring out his next move).

It struck me even then that our situation was...different

Most kids' parents went to work during the day. Mine didn’t. And yet, my life felt surprisingly normal.

We stayed in the same four-bedroom house my parents bought in the late '70s. My sister and I still got new clothes at the mall. We went to dance classes during the school year and attended a pricey, activity-filled day camp each summer. Looking back, I understand now how extraordinary that was.

But the continuity of our lives didn’t come from colossal credit card debt. No, the extraordinary part was that my parents had prepared for this.

My parents prioritized saving when times were good

They maxed out retirement accounts, paid off their mortgage (with a double-digit interest rate!), and were careful not to let their lifestyle expand just because they could afford more.

There were a few luxuries — like a Cadillac in the early '80s when that really meant something, and a memorable family trip to Disney World when I was in kindergarten — but overall, they lived comfortably without excess. We had a very nice life, one built with intention and a strong belief in setting aside money for a rainy day, which certainly came.

What’s more, they talked to us about money.

In broad strokes, they let my sister and me know what was happening. Dad was working to earn more again, but they had saved and planned so that our day-to-day life wouldn't have to change. As a kid, I didn’t grasp how scary that time must have been for them. Now I do. And I carry those lessons with me.

That’s just one chapter of my money story. There are countless other moments that shaped me: my dad divvying up coins he’d found on sidewalks and saved in a canister, trips to the bank with my little savings book and the free lollipop that came with every deposit. These small experiences formed the foundation for how I view money today.

And you have your own money story, too

Maybe you grew up in a household where money was tight. You may have learned to squeeze every penny and now pride yourself on frugality. Or you’ve taken the opposite path, spending freely now to make up for everything you felt you lacked growing up.

Maybe money was never discussed in your home, and as an adult, it still feels taboo or overwhelming.

Or perhaps your parents modeled money habits like generosity, careful planning, or financial stability. Whatever your past, it plays a role in your present.

Recognizing that is powerful.

Because here’s the thing: your money past impacts your money future, but it doesn’t have to define it. The first step is awareness.

Steps to Understanding Your Money Mindset

Start by asking yourself:

What early memories do I have about money?
What messages did I receive from parents or caregivers—explicitly or indirectly?
How do those experiences show up in my current financial behaviors?

You might be surprised at what you uncover. Do you avoid looking at your bank balance because money talk always led to tension at home? Do you over-save to the point of missing out on joy, because your family once lost everything? These patterns make sense when you trace them back, but once you recognize them, you can begin to shift.

Moving Your Money Mindset Forward

So how do you move forward?

Embrace what served you. If your parents taught you to budget, save consistently, or live below your means, hold onto that. Those lessons are gold.
Question what no longer serves you. Maybe you hoard money out of fear, or avoid investing because it feels too risky. Ask yourself if those fears are rooted in today’s reality—or yesterday’s wounds.
Talk about it. Whether with a partner, a trusted friend, or a financial professional, naming your money history out loud helps you own it—and, if needed, rewrite it.
Practice new habits with intention. Financial behavior change isn’t just about spreadsheets. It’s emotional work. Give yourself grace as you build better habits and unlearn old ones.

At the end of the day, your money mindset isn’t just about dollars and cents—it’s a reflection of your lived experience. And like any story, yours is still being written. With reflection, honesty, and a little strategy, you can honor your past and shape a more empowered financial future.

At Ametrine Wealth, we help clients overcome financial obstacles, such as a negative money mindset, to capture their full financial potential. To learn how we can help you, schedule a complimentary consultation here.

About the Author

Carla Adams is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® practitioner who specializes in helping women build strong financial plans around their equity compensation, including Restricted Stock Units (RSUs). With over 15 years of experience in financial services, Carla has in-depth knowledge and expertise geared toward helping clients with complex financial situations. She enjoys boiling down complicated scenarios through practical examples and down-to-earth conversations.